What To Expect At The Two Year Assessment
Today was the little man’s two-year assessment, which I potentially expected to be a bit more intense than it actually was. If you haven’t had your one yet, here’s what to expect, if our appointment was anything to go by:
1. The appointment to be randomly cancelled in advance and then rebooked for a month later with no attempt at an explanation
2. It to occur exactly at the mid-point of what would normally be your little one’s nap time, meaning he will either be a bit over-tired or a bit hyper
3. A brief explanation that depending on the results of the questionnaire they posted out to you in advance, your little one will either be categorised as black (behind where he should be), grey (a smidgen behind where he should be) or white (where he should be). A curious choice of colours methinks. Perhaps a rebranding to red, amber, green would make more sense!?
4. A complete disregard for talking about what you ticked on the questionnaire – I guess parents are assumed to be honest and trustworthy when completing questionnaires that may have the outcome of their child being referred to a specialist!
5. Your little one will stroll off and do his level best to fall off the wooden slide in a variety of humorous ways (and being someone is watching you feel the need to adopt your parent voice and keep telling him to be careful and to sit down on the slide and to use the stairs in a safe manner ‘like he normally does’)
6. Little one will have his height measured, but you will then be told that there is no scientific way to predict final height based on this, despite lots of old wives’ tales to the contrary! He’ll be told he is very tall for his age.
7. Little one will have his weight measured on proper standy-up scales, fully clothed. He’ll be told what a big boy he is!
8. The staff member will then spend a few minutes trying to work out in her head what his weight is in lbs and failing pretty miserably. ‘Well, he’s xxx kg, and that is xx in grams, and this works out as something like xx lbs, so that’s maybe about 2 stones, because there are roughly around 15lbs in a stone.’ So we know that he is roughly 2 stone, but only if you aren’t very good at maths.
9. You’ll be asked:
a) if you have any concerns about his health – ‘no’,
b) whether you are giving him a balanced diet, including fruit veg, proteins and carbohydrates – ‘no we just feed him KFC, cake and Red Bull like we eat’ (who would tell a health visitor that they aren’t giving their little one a balanced diet anyway?!),
c) whether you have thought about / started potty training (with accompanying leaflet if you say ‘no’) and that’s about it!
10. Little one will say ‘bye, bye, lady’ and that’s that done until he’s 3 ½!
So what I had anticipated would be an intense one hour grilling of our parenthood skills turned out to be a 25 minute chat to tell us everything was fine!
In other news today, the sun shone, I chopped a tree down, took a pretty photo of a flower and drank alcohol whilst watching MTV Dance and writing a blog entry, because a fellow blog addict told me to (write an entry, not drink!!)
Ah the let's tick some boxes assessment 🙂 did they ask can he use a spoon? I found that one odd. Love the flower, and damn – that tree! (And you're welcome – anytime you need a push, shove and a wollop just let me know 🙂 )
Sounds well worth the 25 minutes…! I hate those checks for many of the reasons you describe, although you're slightly more kind about the process than me. Our two year check was scheduled to take place at 9.00 on a Monday morning. At 08.57, when I was AT the designated venue, I had a call to say it'd been cancelled. They didn't bother to make us another one. I'm both unimpressed and moany about the whole thing! Lovely picture of a flower ? What drink did you turn to?!
Wow that beats our experience then!! My alcoholic preferences at the moment are Apple Jim Beam and Coke or Vodka & Monster (to keep me awake!!) I hope the 3am feed was enjoyable ?
I'll happily accept a push, but may complain a trifle if shoved or walloped!! I'm glad you liked my flower ?? The spoon question was part of the questionnaire – we should have said he uses chopsticks instead ??
We had a lot of chatting about safety in the home (he's never been to hospital, has never broken anything and has only been to the doctor once in 2.5 yrs) . It was a load of twaddle…I have one child with delays in everything so I am pretty good at knowing if he's on track or not!!! #BloggerClubUK
Ha! Ahh got to love the two year check – I remember being puzzled when they asked if he could thread macaroni onto a piece of string – I think my facial expression gave her the answer (A look of WHY THE F WOULD I EVER HAVE TRIED TO MAKE HIM DO THAT?!) #Bloggerclubuk
Yes it's all very underwhelming isn't it! The pasta on a string amused me too. I guess it's just to assess likelihood you are letting them drink Red Bull or not but the rest is just silly. Great post! #BloggerClubUK
We had nothing on safety in the home!! It looked like she wasn't really sure what she was supposed to be covering!! Made for a quick stress-free session though!!
Perhaps it's to assess their future potential to be a jeweller designer?! Although to be fair I spent years learning Latin at school and have never used that since either ??
Thanks! Little one enjoyed it at least as they had lots of cool toys and stuff!! So he got something out of it even if no one else did!!
Very informative! And good to know there’s nothing to get worried about with those checks! Talk about tick box exercise! I’m sure they would be dismayed if you did give an answer they didn’t like as they might have to go and do something about it!!! #MarvMondays
Didn’t realise until afterwards that it was only voluntary anyway!! Was nice to let Joshua play on someone else’s slides and equipment for a while at least, so I can definitely recommend a trip!! Thank for reading!
I’ve got this yet to come. I thought they’d test them on activities like shape sorting and the like. #marvmondays
No tests whatsoever on the day – they purely go on what you tick on your questionnaire which I thought was a bit odd!!
I remember looking forward to having our two year check, only to be dissapointed to discover that they no longer do them in our area. After reading this I dont actually feel like we’ve really missed out on anything! 😉 Thanks for sharing this on #MarvMondays. Emily
My friend went to this recently and she said it was a waste of time. My little one turned two in June so I’m waiting for mine to arrive in the post. Sounds like it’s going to be a waste of a holiday to take him, lovely x #MarvMondays
Yeah unless there’s anything obvious that you notice from filling in the questionnaire it’s really just a quick chat to say everything’s fine! It’s mainly to identify any child that might need some help I think.
So pleased it all went well, it is nerve wracking especially with the word assessment and knowing a professional is coming round to make a judgement terrified the crap first time round. Second time round you soon learn all kids are different and the milestones are mearly just guidelines. Now lets move on to more pressing matters, well done for chopping the tree down, 😉 X #marvmondays
Yeah it really wasn’t that exciting in the end!! The bushes on the other hand have given me days upon days of endless joy ??
Sounds about right. With my daughter’s 10 month assessment they measured her length whilst she was crying and got it wrong. Told me it wasn’t important as it was never accurate and then proceeded to fill in her red book saying her height and weight were out of proportion (aka she was podgy). Then they told me not to worry as she’d lose weight when she started walking. To which I pointed out she was longer than they’d measured and her parents were both 6ft so I don’t think she’ll be short… We were, curiously, the last session of the day too… Glad to know the same experience is shared nationwide! #MarvMondays
The whole process is a bit dubious!! Think it depends where you go and who you see!!