Writing A Parenting Blog Actually More Time Consuming Than Being A Parent…
A parenting blogger or ‘pblogger’ has revealed that writing a parenting blog is actually more time-consuming and emotionally scarring than being a parent.
James, from Reading in Berkshire, who is dad to lovable tearaway toddler, Joshua, spoke about the wonder of writing a parenting blog and how his ‘hobby’ has taken up more of his time that his full-time job and being a dad combined.
Drug-Addled Devil Woman
‘I started my blog as a quick bit of fun – something to do whilst Joshua was engrossed by staring at drug-addled devil woman Dora The Explorer and her hallucinations, Boots, Map and Backpack.’
But soon James found that writing a blog was akin to taking on another full-time job, with absolutely no pay or progression opportunities.
‘I thought I could just spend a few minutes every few days compiling witty, emotional and generally awesome blog posts and that readers would flock to read it like flies round shit. Within the first 3 months I assumed I would have built enough fame and fortune to give up my day job, buy a mansion and appear on Celebrity Big Brother.’
Unfortunately the dream hasn’t yet become a reality for James, although his dedicated posse of 4 readers do say nice things about his posts, which are a poorly-written mismatch of ill-judged humour, photos of Joshua climbing on things and strange fake interviews.
‘My mum has been quite supportive of my writing’ revealed James, ‘but she does question the excessive foul language. My wife also reads from time to time, during the ad breaks in Home & Away and Neighbours. My 3rd reader is a mystery person in Iraq and the 4th actually turned out to be me as I hadn’t set up my stats to discount my own page views.’
When asked about the time commitment involved in maintaining his blog, James said that he has found a way of stopping his blog from impacting on his job and his absent-minded parenting.
‘I start blogging when Sarah goes to bed at midnight and with a combination of Red Bull, Pro Plus and alcohol I just about keep up-to-date with the 214 linkys, 164 forums, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, TikTok, Tots100 and blog entry schedule I have set up. Then I hop in the car and start all over again.
It’s hard work, but aside from the slight permanent twitch in my right eyelid, failing eyesight, RSI, extreme weight loss and intermittent vomiting it’s actually going quite well.’
Massive Cock
James, who was inspired by The Unmumsy Mum and her book-writing, sports car driving, GQ featuring lifestyle has had some limited success so far. ‘One of my posts hit 25 views, but it turned out that was because I had inadvertently mentioned ‘massive cock’ in my post, when describing how Joshua had been behaving that day, and that had led to a surge in Google traffic’.
For James the blog with continue though, and he has now lowered his aims to achieving 10 regular readers by the end of 2018.
‘Even if I have to slip a ‘massive cock’ in each blog entry I am determined to get to 10 regular readers’, he revealed.
Whilst international stardom may well evade James, at least he isn’t giving up on things just yet. Although with his failing health, intermittent feelings of joy and despair and bizarre, fantastical blog posts and constantly low readability scores on Yoast, Sarah Turner probably doesn’t need to spend too much time looking over her shoulder just yet.
Fancy writing a parenting blog? For more fascinating insights into the world of blogging click here.
That’s a LIE! At least one of those two readers was me ???
I’m sure fame and fortune are just around the corner. If you see them, send them my way eh?
Maybe you were the mystery one from Iraq?! I will mention you in my first bestselling book Fran!
Damnit I thought my settings were private but you’ve tracked me down.
Also…#chucklemums
Oh James…I really thought I would be hitting celebrity BB, too, but I at least allowed myself 6 months…no such call up yet. #massivecock a great idea for my blog SEO… #chucklemums
Happy to help ?? I’ll see you on This Morning one day I’m sure!!
Actually LOVE this post. I wouldn’t worry – you have a far better SOH than the Unmumsy Mum so I think your fortune is just around the corner. Keep going (if you can stand the Red Bull bills). #chucklemums
Very nice of you to say so!! I bulk order the Red Bull from overseas now so that should help ??
Your dream has come true! Unmumsy mum retweeted this so you’re officially famous in the blogging world ?
Hooray! I can now officially retire from blogging ?? Thanks for reading!
“….writing a blog was akin to taking on another full-time job, with absolutely no pay or progression opportunities.”
Yes. This. And yet we continue to do it. #chucklemums
It’s a strange hobby definitely ?? Good fun most of the time though!! Thanks for commenting!
So funny. Im your fifth subscriber!
My work here is done ?? Thanks for reading and commenting!
Keep writing- your stuff is really funny 🙂 Plus you swear and I love swearing.
#fartglitter
I will continue writing just for you, with extra swearing ??
This post sounds like a conversation between the hubby and I on a regular basis – ie Me: “Just a couple of hours more to do. I should be done by midnight.” Him: “Are you actually getting paid to do this? No? Pffft!” Thing is it’s a bit kind of addictive. Like Peppa Pig apparently! Massive fan of your work / bordering on groupie. :0) Thanks for linking with #fartglitter!
Ooooh I would love a groupie!! Who needs money anyway when we get to have so much fun and meet lovely people! Big fan of your work too. *mutual pat on back*
Hey wasn’t i your second subscriber after you!! Your blog rocks and you know it
Indeed you were!! I have gained one since then and that was today – it’s really taking off ??
You had me at extreme weight loss! Can you really discount your own views from your stats? I fear if I did that, the ensuing nosedive would break my heart. Really enjoyed reading this for #Chucklemums, don’t stop writing!
Yeah you can knock them off if you want to – otherwise about 15 views per day will be yourself as was in my case ?? I may have exaggerated the weight loss for dramatic effect…
Haha if I weren’t mistaken I could of sworn this post was about me. I started blogging just for an outlet but once I got into I was addicted and am hoping to become big and famous. 🙂 hopes and dreams
You never know what’s around the corner! Most important thing is to enjoy doing it though! Thanks for your comment!
Ha ha love it ! Giggling here 🙂
Thanks very much! Glad you liked it!
Picked up your link via Unmumsy Mum’s retweet.. James this made me laugh. You have hit the nail on the head with this article. I am 5 months in and have been thinking the same thing so have decided that it has to be “as and when” I can fit it in as it is so time consuming my “normal” ie offline life was taking a hit. It is not for the faint-hearted for sure. Onwards and upwards.
Just as well it has its good moments, like getting your lovely comment! Keep up the blogging battle!
Oh god, this really did make me laugh – love it! Seriously though, like you I had no idea how time consuming this blogging malarkey would be! I only started it in order to share a few doodles…
Thanks so much for joining #chucklemums
It does creel up on you!! Your doodles are awesome though so never stop blogging!!
James sound hilarious – I’ll be reader number 5!
Yay!! Thanks for reading!!
This was brilliant, you may have a new reader 😉 this blogging malarkey has completely taken over my life and I still only have bout 10 readers after 2 years! My most used phrase these let me just finish this blog post…… #kcacols
You have hundreds of readers ?? If I’m still blogging after 2 years and haven’t gone completely insane I’ll be thrilled!!
Omg, James sounds like a riot!!! I think I’d really enjoy reading some of your stuff!! Definitely left me chuckling, because it’s all sooo true! I mean, I’m over one year in…where’s my fortune?! #KCACOLS
The fame and fortune could be just around the corner!! Never give up! Congrats on lasting over a year ??
THIS IS BRILLIANT!! I spat my cup of tea out I was laughing so much! #kcacols
Sorry for ruining your tea!! Glad you enjoyed it though!!
This post is so funny but so so true.. the reality of a blogger’s life, not easy at all and yes more time consuming than being a parent, lol #KCACOLS
Not easy but occasionally worthwhile when you get some lovely comments! Thanks.
Haha I love it! I think if I devoted half as much time to actually parenting as I do for blogging, I’d be a shoo-in for a mum of the year award 😉 #KCACOLS
?? Great point!! Lots of potentially awesome parents in the blogging world!!
haha this is so true! I find myself up into the early hours linking up my posts and sharing/commenting/blogging I seriously underestimated how much time it would take! #KCACOLS
It just takes over your life! Just one more comment before bed…
Ha! this made me chuckle – you’ve gained another reader in me 😀
Yay!! Thanks very much!! It’s all downhill from here!!
…forgot to add #kcacols
haha I love this so much! All completely correct of course – I’m not sure what I was thinking starting my blog, I thought it would just involve sitting down each evening and writing up what we did that day. How wrong I was! 🙂 #KCACOLS
It does just involve that – as long as you aren’t worried about anyone reading it ??
Haha this is so true. I am only 5 months in and my teen kids are telling me not to spend so much time on my phone! Looking forward to reading more and joining you on your journey to fame and fortune! #KCACOLS
You might need to be following me for quite a while in that case ?? Thanks for reading!
Haha! Love it. Espcially like a bit of irony “a poorly-written mismatch of ill-judged humour, photos of Joshua climbing on things and strange fake interviews.” Hugely entertaining. Thanks so much for linking with #KCACOLS. We hope you come back next week.
WOW if you got that many page views from massive cock imagine how many you could get from slipping horny housewife in!
Great post lol